Embracing Purpose

I’m a prepper. No, not the kind that builds underground bunkers, stockpiles canned goods, and prepares for the inevitable apocalypse (although I do spend a week in the high desert every year pretending the apocalypse is already here). I’m the kind that has to be prepared for everything before I start anything. For instance, if I go on a trip, I figure out where I’m staying, alternates in case the place is a dump, what kind of eateries are nearby, what local activities there are, is there wi-fi readily available, etc. Or if I start a new hobby (like crocheting!), I read tutorials, watch videos on the best types of yarns and stitches, download thousands of patterns, make (and unmake) all different kinds of things. I like to know what I’m getting into.

So, not surprisingly, when I really started to explore my intuition and mysticism, I started doing a lot of research. I felt compelled to pursue these spiritual arts, but the logical part of me was like – this is kind of woo-woo. I have degrees in engineering and archaeology; just because you wish for something to happen doesn’t mean it will happen. And yet stories abound of people surviving deadly diseases, accomplishing amazing feats, and beating the odds simply by believing they could do so. Even self-help experts and trainers talk about visualization – if you can see yourself accomplishing that goal, then you are more likely to achieve it.

Is it science? Not really.

Does that matter? Not really.

What matters is that human beings are more than just the sum of skin, bones, blood, and nerve endings. We are creatures made of the universe and intrinsically connected to it. All the events and decisions that have led up to this point in time have been a part of a universal will. Most of the time, we drift through the world, unconscious of our role in the universe, acting upon it without much thought and in turn having it act upon us in unknown ways as well. What happens though if we were to start thinking about our role, our purpose, in the universe and choosing to act in alignment with it?

I found that when I started thinking about my higher purpose and working towards it, I became more calm, and less frustrated about my life. I had recently been laid off and I was really unsure if I wanted to jump back into the rat race industry I was in. And even though I had money saved up, I was frantic about trying to get a new job. I sent in dozens of resumes, did dozens of interviews, and the whole time was just “not feeling it”. After the umpteenth rejection letter, I was feeling really depressed and decided for the next month I was just going to take a little bit of time and work on myself spiritually.

The next day was like a switch going off. From the moment I lit the charcoal, sprinkled on the incense, and sat down to meditate, I felt at peace. I realized that I wasn’t getting jobs because I honestly didn’t want them. I wasn’t working towards my true purpose. And as I worked to connect with the universe and develop my intuition, a new pathway opened up for me. I saw myself doing something I never really thought I could do before. And as each day progressed, that pathway became more clear and concise. Things were presented to me that kept affirming the direction I was going. Finally, I was given the means to make that purpose happen and with very little hesitation, I took that opportunity.

I still prep. Most of its to assuage my anxiety, but also because it truly doesn’t hurt to prepared. However, I find myself overanalyzing less, trusting my intuition when it tells me things are going to be okay. Trust yourself; trust the universe. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and live your best-intentioned life. We got this.